Bonsoir

This evening I've decided to start an account on livejournal..how truly exciting huh? I have a social life but otherwise whenever I'm alone I don't have much of a life beyond playing Final Fantasy and reading through the new Harry Potter. This'll give me something to do. In addition,I love keeping diaries,but my last one proved to be quite unsuccessful on myspace when my boyfriend hacked in and read it all. I think livejournal will work better,especially since more people I don't know will be reading my personal thoughts rather than my friends,which is always good. I'm sure I'll keep this updated for the most part, with my thoughts,experiences,poetry,and songs.Oh and never forget about my bizaar dreams.I'll start my journal off tonight by posting some stuff I've previously had posted on myspace and some poetry and songs and stuff. Yeah,if you haven't figured it out yet,I don't sleep very well. Well I do..but more so during the day. I usually get to bed around four in the morning or so and get up in the early afternoon. Slightly nocturnal if you ask me. So the late hours are prolly when I'll be posting the most. My special alone time..that kinda sucks ass. I hate being alone...I'm kinda codependent I've been starting to figure out. Yeah, I'm also kinda in a rough spot in life now. I'm going to be a sophmore but my boyfriend that I've been with for over a year now is leaving for college out at Framingham on the other side of the state,based on a bad decision he made a while ago. So everyday I have to go on thinking about the inevitable break up. We've both cheated on each other and it's been such a mess. I've basically taken his only friends and he just talks to girls from Framingham secretly online everynight. So yeah,distancing oneself from something that was once so greatly focused on is both a weird and haunting feeling. I've got some friends... but I have no idea where my loyalties even lay with them anymore. They all have things I can't stand about them,for the most part. But I love them..I just wish I could get over my new getting trashed habit. Yeah..think I'm gonna chill out for a while since I'm not getting any sleep tonight since I didn't wake up until about three hours ago. But yeah,hope atleast a few people find my life atleast mildly amusing or entertaining and have a good night.
Yours Truly,
~Seule

"So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
My final breath is gone
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die...

Because you kill me
You know you do, you kill me well
You like it to and I can tell
You never stop or tell
My final breath is gone..."